Simple as Hell Holy Guacamole

Simple as Hell Holy Guacamole

I’m always looking for quick, simple and inexpensive ways to make the good stuff on the go, so here’s one fer ye! It’s a very cool, fast and easy guacamole recipe using readily available & easily found ingredients, straight from your – or your Airbnb host’s – fridge and spice rack. Great when craving something real on the road, or when you need a quick and healthy snack without much fuss.


Gather ye thy holy ingredients:

  • One Ripe Avocado (Small to Medium)
  • 1/4 Fresh Onion (or 1 TB Dried Onion Flakes)
  • 1/2 Heaping Teaspoon Cumin Powder
  • 1 – 2 Dashes Cayenne Powder
  • Scant 1/2 Teaspoon Sea Salt

I try to use all or mostly organic stuff in my cooking and always encourage others to do the same. In a cereal bowl (or similar), cut, skin and mash up the avocado. Save the seed! You’ll need it if you want to refrigerate any leftover guac…according to, science does seem to support that keeping the seed with the guac will prevent some browning, and as well, thou shalt hear a voice behind thee, spewing facts regarding the uber-nutritious avocado:

Few people know that the avocado is an ecological anachronism, that it most likely evolved specifically to entice the tastes and the large gullet of the now-extinct giant ground sloth.

Cut Avocado Mash Avocado Keep the Seed

Now that that deadly sin is out of my system, next you’ll want to dice 1/4 of a fresh onion, which equates to approximately 1/4 – 1/3 cup. FYI, if you’re using dried onion flakes, the 4:1 rule applies – in other words, you only need about a quarter the amount of dried onion to get the same taste result. Given that 1/4 cup equates to 4 tablespoons, using 1 tablespoon dried onion flakes will do it. As always, trust your taste buds and adjust accordingly.

Quarter Onion Dice Onion

Briefly mix the onion into the mashed avocado:

Add Onion to Avocado

Next, add in your heaping 1/2 teaspoon of cumin powder…

Add Half a Teaspoon Cumin

…followed by 1 – 2 dashes of cayenne pepper and a scant 1/2 teaspoon sea salt…

Add Cayenne Add Sea Salt All In

…and you are ready to do the final mix!

Final Mix

Next, get ready to serve thyself this Simple as Hell Holy Guacamole. Sometimes I eat it straight up, but here, to show some degree of civility, I’ve used lentil chips, which provided a really nice, light contrast to the guac…enjoy!

Serves: 2 normals, or one Alison Lorraine. Can be stored in the fridge for a day with the seed, but it’s best to use this up asap.


Yours in Great Health,


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